You’re Not a Bad Meditator — Your Brain’s Just a Brain

For a long time, I thought meditation was supposed to feel like nothing. Like silence. Blank space. A totally empty brain. No thoughts. No feelings. Just me and the void.

Spoiler: that’s not how it went.

Instead, I'd sit down, close my eyes… and immediately remember the dishes I hadn’t done. Or the weird thing I said in 2006 to my high school English teacher. Or suddenly start mentally redecorating my entire apartment.

Then came the spiral: “Why am I thinking so much? I'm supposed to be zen. I’m failing at this. I’m a terrible meditator.” And then I’d open my eyes and give up.

But here's what no one told me: meditation isn't about turning off your thoughts. It's about noticing them.

Unless you’re the actual Buddha reincarnated, you’re not going to stop thinking. The mind thinks — it’s literally its job. Your job as a beautifully complex human with a busy, opinionated, memory-filled mind is simply to notice your thoughts, not run from them.

You learn to sit beside them. To gently go, “Oh hey, there you are. You’re just a thought.” And then: come back. To your breath. To this moment. To your body. To the space in between.

That’s the work. That’s the practice. Not perfect stillness. Not erasing your mind. Just noticing… and returning. Over and over again.

One note. One breath. Again.

Recommended Reading: The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer